Things to Do in Roatan

If You Come To Utila


So I keep hearing Will Smith’s “I’m going to Miami” song in my head – except I’m replacing Miami with Utila! I had only heard of Utilia a few days before I left Roatan when our Land’s End Manager Adi mentioned the island. Utila is one of the Bay Islands a couple of hours away from Roatan and a scuba diving haven. To get to Utila, you either have to fly to Honduras and then take a ferry or a small plane to Utila (the plane ride is around $225 per person) OR you can visit Roatan and take a boat ride for a couple hours and reach the mysterious island. So what goes on in Utila. Check out this video!

So after watching this AWESOME video, I decided to blog about the topics and proffer research about the party island of Utila as my curiosity is sparked to the highest level!

1. Tranquila Bar

♫ No Matter what they say, be careful on Tequila Tuesday ♫ the video warns.


The Tranquila Bar is responsible for Tequila Tuesday where shots of Tequila are .50 cents! With blazing fire torch shows and a relaxed pier overlooking the ocean, it is no wonder why Tequila Tuesday is so dangerous. For a measly $10, you could have consumed twenty shots of Tequila!

Things to do In Utila

Tequila Tuesday at Tranquila Bar in Utila

Tranquila Bar in Utila

Fire Show at Tranquila Bar in Utila


View of Ocean from Pier at Tranquila Bar in Utila

2. DiveMaster Inauguration 

♫ The last I remember I was drinking up my mask and woke up with a snorkel up my a–♫  After some research, I found that this line is somewhat of an initiation process to become a DiveMaster on Utila (excluding the snorkel up the you know what). A anonymous source quotes “A tradition in Utila when you finish your dive master course is to do a ‘snorkel test’. This basically involves wearing a diving mask full of beer while drinking alcohol forcibly through a snorkel that has been turned into a beer bong. Once you’ve cleared the mask you can officially be inaugurated as a DiveMaster.”

Utila Scuba Diving

Utila Scuba Diving Author’s Suggested Challenge

Personally, I would create an initiation where you have to scuba dive in heels. This hottie and me see it the same way! But just remember ♫ In Utila you can do what you please, you can do whatever you like! 

3. Dr. John Patrick McVay at the Community Clinic

♫ If you got something wrong go to Dr. John, he’s a doctor with no t-shirt on, he’s got short sight, he’s out all night but Dr. John will make you right! ♫ So the million dollar question is: is Dr. John real? The answer is: YES! Dr. John is played by himself in the video and you’ve already met him! Dr. John started the Utila Community Clinic and despite Dr. John’s eccentric ways, he has been praised from sources to be a very good doctor and the island is lucky to have him. Officially, Dr. John is Dr. John McVay, a USA Citizen, who is licensed to practice medicine in Ohio and Florida.  His clinic is open 5 days a week, but Dr. John is effectively on call 24 x 7. The Clinic sees about 10-15 patients per day with everything from emergency/trauma to diabetic/hypertension maintenance. The Clinic is run on a not-for-profit basis, serving a local island community of some 2,500 people plus an itinerant tourist population. It’s $US 8.00 for an initial consultation and $US 5.00 for follow-up. Wow. If only Dr. John was in the states – $14 bucks doesn’t even come my insurance deductible!

Utila Doctor

Utila Doctor John

Utila Ear Drops by Dr. John

Utila Ear Drops by Dr. John

An anonymous source states: “Dr. John’s ear drops have saved me from imminent ear infections.” As my father is in the medical field, I can honestly attribute that knowing a doctor is on the island and available on call 24-7 is reassuring and a huge commitment. So thank you Dr. John!

4. Skid Row

♫ Want a Skid Row T-Shirt, Can’t Buy that in Shop, if you want a Skid Row T-shirt, you have to do shots! ♫ What?! You skidrowcan’t buy a T-shirt without taking shots?! This jingle has truth, but for $9.95, you can buy a t-shirt and skip the Guifity  – if you want a T-shirt for free, you must participate in the Guifity T-Shirt Challenge! According to Jessica Johnson, to obtain a free t-shirt, you must down four shots of Guifity. In Jessica’s case, she had to down four shots in under two minutes, but she asked if there was a time limit before she started drinking. Of course, the bartender said yes. Oops.

Skid Row Utilla

Skid Row Utilla

However, according to Skid Row’s Facebook page, one shot of Guifity is 10 Lempira’s. 1 Lempira is equivalent to $.50 cents so for 4 shots, the T-shirt is equivalent to $2.00. So yes, if you pay for the $9.95 for the T-Shirt, you are technically getting ripped off. But what is Guifity?

GuifityGuifity is made with a rum and 20 herbs (one of which may include marijuana) and is fermented for three weeks. An anonymous source state: “During our two weeks on the Bay Island of Utila, we were able to closely study the effects of Guifity on young European tourists, and although we cannot speak to the aphrodisiac effects, we can attest to its ability to enhance, impair, and otherwise debilitate and based on our observations recommend that no one in a normal state of mind should take four shots in a row.” I think I am going to have to be the sucker who buys the T-Shirt for $9.95!

5. The Three Lies of Utila

There are 3 lies of Utila that everyone knows and you should know them to: I love you [No you don’t], I’m leaving tomorrow [No you won’t] I’m not drinking tonight [Yes you will because the fact about that is you’re in Utila still!] ♫

This seems to be somewhat a validated fact. A source named Heather States: “Utila is a world within a world. It’s very hard to describe without actually going but I highly recommend it. The easiest way to describe it are the three lies of Utila.1. I love you, 2. I’m not drinking tonight, 3. I’m leaving on the morning ferry. Everyone hits one or two of them, most people hit all three. It’s a place that’s hard to leave and drags you into the lifestyle very quickly. Hard to resist a hammock on the dock all day watching the sun set and then partying until it rises again. Visit if you get the chance.” Hmmm…..

So to follow-up, it appears as if this video was very accurate in its truths. On a side note, from my investigative reporting skills, I wanted to follow up with a few other sources to give readers a better view of Utila.

Diving, Diving, Diving. There are 12 diving centers and from sources, the centers compete for all the business on the island and can be clicky. However, from a tourists point of view, you will see some of the most beautiful waters on a scuba adventure. Most people come to the island to dive and even the party crowd dives during the day and parties at night. However, as a tourist, you will get the cheapest dive packages at Utila.

utila-whale-shark images 100-Utila-Aggressor_0

The water is very clear and the temperature of the water makes it even more sublime. And yes, you can spear lionfish.

Utila Accomodations. In addition, Utila has something for every budget. If you are on a low budget, you can stay at the Blueberry Hill for $5.30 per night or go upscale at The Gardens at $55 per night, which includes free wifi. If you want a luxurious rental with two bedroom and a private, hand-laid glass mosaic swimming pool with 4 fountains and a waterfall, Utila has it, starting at $150 per night. Upscale houses can be rented for as little as $2,000 per week depending on what is needed for your stay. The residents are very friendly and more then willing to help you find the perfect spot! 

After I receive permission, I will post a few contacts where if you are coming to Utila, you will be able to contact some of the locals who make Utila the wonderful place it is to be! A lot of your lodging and resorts are owned by Utila locals and getting to talk to them and get insight about the things to do on Utila is almost priceless, especially if you are a traveling to Utila for the first time! Going on vacation and already meeting friends is the way that Utilians like it and will also help you get the most out of your stay on Utila with good recommendations based on your needs!

*A Post Inspired by the Locals of Utila Will Be Here Shortly in the Future – Stay Tuned!*

2 thoughts on “If You Come To Utila

  1. Pretty accurate – I only take exception to the statement “Electricity, technology, hot water, and all those other luxuries are not existent. ” There is 24 hour electricity, unless the power is down for maintenance or some other reason – UPCO does a great job keeping the lights on. Everyone has a cell phone and there are several Internet cafes – Mermaids has wifi, great food and very clean bathrooms. Hot water is available at some hotels – generally those that cost more than $8 or $10 per night. In this case, you do get what you pay for. If you are looking for luxury, there is everything from the all-inclusive Utopia Dive Resort to a bungalow over the ocean. You can find upscale restaurants, a European-style bakery, yoga, art classes and the nightlife as featured in the video. If you are not into the nightlife, you will find world-class diving, beaches and back streets to explore. Not everyone is in the bars. Is it as big and busy with cruise ships as Roatan? Nope. But it has something for everyone, short of a mall full of chain stores.


  2. I might take umbrage at our little island’s description in your blog if so much of it weren’t true, but the fact is that while much of it is true, you screwed the pooch with your grossly inaccurate summation. Describing us as a Third World backwater with no modern accouterments is a gross misrepresentation; well evidenced by the plethora of comments this blog has generated since its being posted on a private online chat area hosted by, ~WHOA!~, that technological marvel, FaceBook®. And we access the internet because we have… hold on, it’s coming… ELECTRICITY! Now, fancy THAT!

    Our in town lodging offerings here actually run the gamut; from lower budget of 5.30$ per night at Blueberry Hill for a basic room to more upscale The Gardens at 55$, including wifi, A/C and… and hot water in every tap! (, and more. Want a two bedroom with all services and a private, hand laid glass mosaic swimming pool with 4 fountains and a waterfall? Utila has it! ( ), starting at 150$ per night. Upscale houses can be rented for as little as 2K$ per week!

    It is also distressing to many here to be viewed only as a party town full of pot smoking divers. This is simply not true. Yep, there is “smoking dope” here (where is is NOT in the Caribbean?), and yes, some of the dive shops are more liberal than others. But a number of dive facilities here will boot your ass from their shop for rolling one up at the table. Scuba diving is a somewhat expensive sport with a degree of inherent danger to be accounted for. Someone high as a kite can be a danger both to themselves and to the facility that invested a substantial sum of money in their businesses. No one wants to throw their investment down the tubes.

    Additionally, there is much more to do here than just dive. Did you know that Utila is the home of a world class research facility and one of the first to tag the famous Whale Shark? It’s on Main Street or can be seen at We have Kanahau URCF here. That’s a biology research station on Utila. ( We have The Iguana Research and Breeding Station ( that has been on the island for decades. We have an office of the internationally famous Sea Shepherd that has been instrumental in protecting Utila’s endangered turtle population ( As much fun as Utila Town is (accurately called East Harbor) it is a disservice to paint it with such a narrow brush.

    It is much more. Come back, we’ll be happy to show you Utila’s other sides!

    Liked by 1 person

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